I’m tired of apologising for my (non-controversial) opinions


A few days ago, Terry and I were watching some You Tube videos featuring various vloggers talking about their favourite and least-favourite baby products.

We were watching for the obvious reason that baby products are expensive (Seriously, some car seats cost more than my last car…), and we’d like to avoid making too many mistakes, but I very quickly became distracted by all of the damn caveats these vloggers were having to add to their reviews.

“This wasn’t exactly the best buy I made,” they’d start off bravely, before getting a panicked look in their eye, and quickly adding, “But, I mean, that doesn’t mean it’s not awesome! Because it’s totally awesome, just… not in a way that I personally found useful. That doesn’t mean it won’t be useful to YOU, though, because it probably will! Because it’s awesome, really! In fact, when I said I didn’t like it, that was probably just because I’m too stupid to use it properly: just ignore everything I say, OK?”

And so on and so forth, until they’d bent so far backwards in a bid to avoid offending anyone that they were now pretty much convinced that they really HAD liked the product, after all. And this would be over something like a muslin cloth, or something similarly innocuous.

Crazy, huh?

I was fascinated by all of these caveats, because I totally get why bloggers/vloggers do it: and I get it because I do it myself – all the time.

The fact is, as a blogger, you really have to walk on eggshells all the time to avoid offending someone: which is harder than you might think. I, for instance, have offended people just by saying I don’t like a particular pair of shoes, or that a certain dress isn’t my style. I’ve offended people by revealing that their favourite foundation didn’t work for me – and when I say “offended”  I mean, “to the point where they resort to name-calling and abuse, and tell me I don’t deserve to even HAVE a blog, because I’m just SO DAMN BAD at it.” I mean, can you imagine the reaction I’d get if I said something that was ACTUALLY controversial?

I, for instance, have offended people just by saying I don’t like a particular pair of shoes, or that a certain dress isn’t my style. I’ve offended people by revealing that their favourite foundation didn’t work for me

I don’t, though – say anything remotely controversial, that is. Honestly, I’m just too scared: because, in an internet world where people can become apoplectic with rage just because a blogger doesn’t have the same taste in shoes as them, you very quickly learn to tone down your opinions and caveat every single word you write – and I think that’s a bit of a shame, really. It’s not what blogging is supposed to be about, is it? No, when blogging first started to get big, people liked it because they felt bloggers could be trusted to give honest opinions about the things they used/bought/wore. Nowadays, it’s pretty rare to see a blogger express a negative opinion, though: I know a lot of readers believe that’s because we’re all being paid to be positive, or are worried about alienating brands, and that may well be true in some cases, but I actually think it’s also because “negativity” of any kind is not really tolerated on the internet, where everything’s supposed to be about self love, and positive vibes all the time.

in an internet world where people can become apoplectic with rage just because a blogger doesn’t have the same taste in shoes as them, you very quickly learn to tone down your opinions and caveat every single word you write

How can you be totally honest about something – even something as simple as your taste in clothes – when you know you’re going to upset someone: possibly to the point where they’ll lash out at you in rage, and start making things super-personal? I’m thinking here of the time I said I wasn’t a fan of sneakers, and someone commented to say, “Well, that’s because someone as butch as you couldn’t possibly pull them off, anyway!” Or all of the many, many times I’ve said that something wasn’t to my personal taste, and people have written to me saying I’m totally irresponsible, and that they don’t understand why I persist in writing about fashion when I have such absolutely terrible taste? BUT Y THO?

Of course, the people who comment about responsibility do have a point, even if they don’t always express it particularly tactfully. I, for instance, will always add tons of caveats to my beauty and skincare-related posts, because I’m really aware that everyone is different in terms of skin tone/type, and that what works – or doesn’t work – for me, might have a totally different effect on someone else. (To be totally honest, I sometimes wonder what the point is of even doing those posts: makeup often looks totally different on me than on the other bloggers I see swatch it, and I don’t feel I have much to offer anyone who doesn’t happen happen to look exactly like me – but that’s another post for another day. Or not.)

I would hate to put someone off using something just because I didn’t like it, and I also hate the thought of potentially encouraging my readers to spend their hard-earned cash on something they might not like. I’m not a makeup artist, or a skincare specialist, after all, and I’m really aware of the dangers of offering up opinions that are based on nothing more concrete than, “It didn’t work for me.” Similarly, as a small-business owner myself, I do feel a responsibility to not just trash someone’s livelihood because their product wasn’t quite to my liking – so yeah, I will caveat the hell out of posts where I think I could potentially influence people in a way that could have a negative effect on them/the brand I’m taking about, and I don’t really see any way around that.

I will caveat the hell out of posts where I think I could potentially influence people in a way that could have a negative effect on them/the brand I’m taking about, and I don’t really see any way around that.

When it comes to pure opinion and personal taste, though, it does disappoint me a little that the blogosphere really doesn’t encourage their expression. And, I mean, sure – you only have to look at the comment section on any major news website (Please don’t, though: it’s a really easy way to quickly lose all faith in humanity…) to see that there are plenty of people out there who are REALLY not shy about expressing their opinions:  normally with some kind of pronouncement about “FREEDOM OF SPEECH!” which demonstrates a complete misunderstanding of what freedom of speech actually IS.

In terms of blogging (and, I’m sure, vlogging…), though, I feel like ANY kind of opinion is automatically controversial, and thus liable to be shot down. As a result, the blogsphere has become very homogenised: not only do blogs tend to all LOOK the same (And yes, I know mine is no different in that respect…), they’ve all started to sound the same too: all peppered with talk of “self-love” and endless “inspiring” quotes urging us to believe that we’re “ALL BEAUTIFUL!” and that we just have to “BE POSITIVE!” because everything is wonderful and magical, and look, here is a photo of something to do with a unicorn! Be nice about the unicorn, or you will upset the person who likes unicorns – you big, unicorn-hating meanie, you!

There is very little in the way of dissenting opinion or actual debate any more, and I think a lot of bloggers (myself included) are a little bit afraid to venture an opinion – even a relatively innocuous one – for fear of the inevitable backlash that will occur. It’s reached a stage where I can’t even say something like, “I don’t really like adult onesies: they’re just not my taste,” without having to caveat it with, “I think they look totally amazing on other people, though: you rock that adult onesie, girl!” and that’s just a shame, really.  Er, not because I’m just dying to express my hatred for adult onesies, obviously, but purely because I feel that, as adults, we should be able to accept that not everyone likes the same things as us, or has the same opinions, and that’s totally OK.

There is very little in the way of dissenting opinion or actual debate any more,

We are allowed to be different: and while I can definitely see how it would sting a little to hear someone say they’re not keen on something you love or own (And, for the record, I would never, ever go to someone’s blog or social media and tell them I don’t like something they’re wearing: that’s just rude and un-necessary. No, I’m talking here about those throwaway comments you might make that aren’t directed at anyone in particular, not ones made to/about an individual), it never fails to astonish me how upset some people get at the idea of someone doing things even slightly differently from them, and how hard they’ll sometimes work to tell that person they’re WRONG.

I’ve no idea what the answer to this is, by the way (Er, sorry if you just read this entire post thinking I was about to propose some well thought-out solution to this particular problem…): it’s just something I’ve been noticing for a while now – both in my own writing, in which I’m scared to venture any kind of opinion without caveating it to death – or on other people’s blogs/channels, where I keep seeing the same thing.

So. I’m Amber. I don’t like Birkenstocks, tights, any kind of sporting event or TV shows about cooking. I’m not going to bother caveating any of those things, even although I know I’m probably going to offend someone who’s currently watching Bake Off in their tights and Birkenstocks.

Now over to you: tell me something YOU don’t like, and let’s all glory in the ability to express our opinions without upsetting each other!

Why you should stop apologising for your opinions - especially the non-controversial ones
Hi, I'm Amber, and I'm a full-time parenting/lifestyle blogger, and author of My Blogging Secrets, now available from Amazon. I live in Scotland with my husband, Terry, and baby son, Max, and you can read more about me here.

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  1. I’m May. I don’t like holographic things, green juices and avocado, loop earrings, rugs/carpets or 90% of YA fiction books (and I don’t like John Green’s books at all)

  2. Eurgh, I know this feeling so well! On my main blog, I don’t usually express that many opinions that could be taken one way or another, but on my lingerie blog…let’s just say people in the industry have VERY strong opinions. And that’s great! Everyone can have opinions! But when I’m writing a review on a brand that I normally love but it was a bra that just didn’t personally work for me (the shape was just not right for me) and I get attacked because everyone else loved this bra and WHY DID I HAVE TO BE SO NEGATIVE, it just feels crazy! Especially when someone reads a single sentence or paragraph of a post and takes your whole opinion of whatever you’re writing about to be that one side of it when actually you go on to talk about other things…I’ve had lots of comments where people attack for not actually reading the post, just reading a single sentence…that was written in irony.
    It seems like people just like to start battles on the internet a lot, and being a person who hates confrontation, I find it really intimidating. I’ve taken blogging breaks because of it a few times, and it’s the reason why I try to stay out of anything in the slightest bit controversial on social media. But saying that, I just shared a product because I liked the look of it the other day and that started a discussion (let’s say that rather than argument!) on whether the design was copied and I got worried the blog was going to get attacked for sharing something because I thought it looked pretty – so difficult!

    • I find Facebook to be the worst for this: so often people will just read the post excerpt that’s generated by FB, and then respond to it without actually reading the post itself – so frustrating! With that said, I’ve also noticed that any time I write an opinion piece, someone will criticise me for “not presenting both sides of the argument”: like when I said that I hated all the bots on Instagram, and someone got really upset because not EVERYONE on Instagram is like that, and they felt I should have done more to emphasize that. I was just like, FFS, I’m writing an opinion piece, not a high school book report or legal document here: surely unless I’ve specifically said, ‘And EVERY SINGLE PERSON ON INSTAGRAM IS LIKE THIS, TOO!’ you can take it as read that I don’t think think that, and don’t need to specifically address it? But apparently, yes, I do!

  3. I love this post. I wrote a similar one a while back about how I’m sick off everyone getting offended by everything. You can’t have an opinion or even be a certain type of person anymore! It seems to be getting worse and it must be a bit scary to be a brand right now as it seems of you don’t include every race/gender/sexuality/size/culture in your adverts you’re getting pulled down for not being diverse enough. I saw a dating blogger who is straight getting torn down on twitter for not taking about stuff lesbians can relate to. It’s madness.


    Ps I hate tattoos, unicorns and autumn.

  4. What I find quite frustrating is that it’s all fence-sitting and then someone pulls out the UNPOPULAR OPINION post (don’t worry, this is not me pass agg suggesting this is one!) and it’s always so predictable. It’s always something obvious but unnecessary and insensitive like BUT ACTUALLY BREASTFEEDING IS BEST REALLY, ISN’T IT? or reactionary ‘just saying what you’re thinking’ (but no-one’s thinking it) nonsense and you just want to roll your eyes forever. I’m totally with you – there has to be a middle ground between Your Mileage May Vary (which absolutely makes total sense in beauty posts) and Katie Hopkins Gets a Lot of Traffic, Right? Here’s to normal levels of not-particularly-controversial opinion and preference! x

    • The one I notice most often is the, “UNPOPULAR OPINION, but I love autumn, it’s my favourite season!” This comes up every year, when literally every single post on Bloglovin’ begins with the line, “Autumn in my favourite season!”

  5. I’m Karen and I hate pumpkin flavored things, torn denim, sneakers with individual toe dividers (like Vibrams), speedo swimsuits on men (understandable only in competition), bad grammar/spelling, shoes that hurt, and online bullies.

    Conversely, I love dogs, anything with flamingos or pineapples on it, spring, the ocean/beach, figure skating (including the outrageous bling-y attire), weddings, baking (& yes, cooking shows), office supplies, home decor ideas, shopping & nature photography.

    • If I can be serious for a minute:

      You don’t give offence, people take offence.

      If people choose to take offence at something you say, that’s their issue, not yours. Don’t make it your issue.

      This peculiar 21st century social-media-driven phenomenon of everyone being offended drives me crazy.

      I worked with a wonderful older woman a few years ago, a real gem, who taught me a phrase which is a regular go to for myself when dealing with negative behaviours (of which taking unnecessary offence is certainly one): “We do not pander to the cynics!”

      Words to live by.

  6. I don’t like people that take offence at the most trivial things, particularly those that seek drama / controversy through doing so.

    There are truly offensive things in the world – I wish people would learn the difference between those, and something they personally don’t like or disagree with.

  7. I feel exactly the same way. I do feel like I can’t always trust bloggers’ opinions when they’re really positive about everything. I try to do my best to say if I don’t particularly like something, but exactly the same as you, I feel like I worry about offending anyone, which is silly really. I think when you see the backlash some people get and the abuse, it makes me worry even more about being careful what I say. By the way, I hate tights too! Not the way they look, but I hate wearing them! x

    Jenny | LuxeStyle

  8. I’ve noticed people do this even in conversation. I disagreed with someone the other day, not in an argumentative way, just in an “oh really, I have a different opinion” type way and they practically jumped down my throat. Why do people feel like we are challenging their value and identity if we don’t agree with them? Strange.

    I’m Jenny and I don’t like squash (The vegetable. I feel like it might be called something different in the U.K.?) large, noisy parties, reality tv, and flavored coffee. I do, however, like books, tea, chocolate, gingerbread, and well-written, thoughtful blogs like yours.

  9. I hate smoking, dislike alcohol , really hot weather, sunbathing, clubbing (though I loved it), Mariah Carey, Harry Potter books and films, living in London and non-vegetarian food. I’m perfectly at home with people who dislike things I like/love – cool weather, grey days, vegan food, yoga, swimming, urban art, factual books, AC/DC and active wear. Vive la difference!

  10. Well, I’m really not keen on cats and cat-print apparel, so that basically makes me the fashion blogger spawn of the devil, right? I’ve certainly never dared mentioning it before online, because I fear I would be (virtually) lynched. I applaud this post because, as usual, you’ve expressed what we’re all thinking wonderfully well.

  11. I hate Huggies nappies! (they leak)
    I hate slings (baby’s boiling, can’t breath, hurt my back)
    I hate jumparoos and playpens
    I hate baby classes (have fun with other mums if you wish, it’s a great way to get out, but babies do not need any fancy class from birth, they really don’t if you live a normal life with them)
    I hate overly painted eybrows, the colour yellow, pastel colours (on me – I can just about get away with a handbag or pale shoes)

    It doesn’t mean any of the above won’t work for others, I am not judging you people!
    Different life, different homes, we all need different things.

    I love your blog and your style.

    • “but babies do not need any fancy class from birth, they really donโ€™t if you live a normal life with them”

      This is something I’ve been wondering about since my last midwife appointment where she told me all about the special “baby sensory room” they have… I passed it on the way out, and it was a room with bright colours, music, lights etc: it was packed, so I’m sure people must love it, but I was just all, “Er, why do I need to take my baby to a special room in another town for this: can he not get sensory stimulation at home?!” (Mind you, I suspect a lot of this stuff is more about the social aspect for a lot of people, and I’m very, very anti-social, so probably not the target audience!)

      • I think all the “baby Einstein” kind of classes are more for the mums than for the baby. Babies don’t have any concept of social skills that young, and some music classes are SO LOUD, it cannot be good.
        Baby massage can be really good, help soothe baby, work through colic – if colic there is etc. (if said baby agrees, some of them do not).
        Then it’s up to you, sometimes it really help to share with other new mums, babies bring so many questions. The best advice I ever heard was “happy mummy = happy baby”.
        Shopping malls are so full of light, smell and colour, that’s enough sensory experience, isn’t? So many prints and textures in Zara, H&M…

        (I KNOW it’s good for them, but your baby vs people’s GERMS.. so so hard to start sharing GERMS with other people children)

        • Yeah, I figured it was probably more for the mums: I’m so shy/anti-social that baby classes just really don’t appeal to me, but pretty much all of our friends have babies, and one is due around the same time as me, so hopefully we won’t be stuck for advice etc. This is probably another post for another time, though!

  12. Such a gorgeous post, Amber! I don’t like Birkenstocks either, and am not a big fan of sneakers. Oh, and I never wear jeans, just because I think they don’t work on me… ๐Ÿ˜‰


  13. I actually don’t like unicorns. It does my head in that they’re plastered all over the pink and girlie stuff I’d normally be throwing money at!

    I do like tights though. And not liking things, loudly.


  14. I’ve just spotted that advert for the five piece Humphrey cot bedding set on Wayfair, and thought I’d like to buy it for you, and here it is. So if you’d like it, I will go ahead and buy it, but if not just let me know and something else will be Wendi g its way to you. What do you think?

    • Aww, that’s so kind of you Myra, but we really don’t want to get any baby stuff at the moment: it just feels too soon for us, so we’re going to be waiting until much later on – we were just looking at videos out of curiosity last week! Thank you so much, though โค๏ธ

  15. PS I hate those trousers that hang so low, below the bottom of the bottom, that young men seem to be totally obsessed with for the last 10-15 years. Do they know the origins of these are from young prison inmates in USA where belts are not allowed and so trousers fall down on slim young men.
    I think they will look back on this trend and say, “What was I thinking …”

    • Oh Myra, I HATE it when young people wear their trousers half-way down their btms too. I lived in London for a long time and the amount of times I felt like going up to young men and saying “Oh for goodness sake, pull your trousers up!” No doubt my parents hated my spikey hair and pierced nose when I was a teenager though.

  16. People are funny, aren’t they? I enjoy your blog even though I don’t share the same tastes or thoughts, but I like getting to know you better. I appreciate being able to glimpse into a life so different than mine. There’s enough similarity to communicate and enough variation to make it really interesting.

    Is this why you slowed down on The Fashion Police? I have to say that there was one category we usually completely agreed! But with all that’s going on in your life right now, I figured you just were cutting back (as I would, too).

    Hugs to Terry and his mom and all of you who need one. You are doing fine.

    btw, I don’t like high heels, stripes, form-fitting dresses, makeup, etc. on me but I like them on you. Also, I’d wear Birkenstocks with socks if I hadn’t worn mine out.

    • Nah, The Fashion Police slowdown is something that’s been on the cards for years now: I just had to wait until this site was earning enough to be able to take a step back from it!

  17. Great post, Amber! And I think I love you for the unicorn quote. I absolutely โคโคโค horses, but not when they have a stupid horn on their head. What? Their mom is a horse and their dad a rhino? Ewww, just the thought of it is disgusting.

    Here’s my big beef…people that pierce their kid’s ears when they are a baby…unless it’s a cultural thing. That is NOT their body! They took the rights away from that little human to decide if that is what they really want. (Yes, I have double pierced ears, MY decision.) Maybe tats on babies will be next? (Shuddering here.)

    I’m reading your book, soaking up your advice, and plan to launch a blog soon. So this info is helpful as I really dislike confrontation. I may have to have hubs install a heavy bag in the garage for those moments I want to reach out and ‘touch’ someone. ?

    Happy Infanticipating!

  18. AGHHH! My world is ending because I once owned a pair of Birkinstocks AND I like tights! omg. Two different people on different continents have different opinions!?! HOW is this possible? I too am completely baffled by the fundamental immaturity of my fellow humans who apparently haven’t grasped this concept. People are different! That’s cool. (I feel like someone should embroider that on a pillow or something.) Great article!

  19. I think women in general are conditioned to put qualifiers on things to downplay (the value of ) their opinion. The number of times I’ve heard advice prefaced by “This might sound crazy, but…” or, as you said, “This is not everyone’s experience but I, personally….” To be fair, with baby products, I sometimes suspect they were given these things as shower gifts and they don’t think the person who gave it to them will watch/read (but just in case) want to qualify and soften the fact they don’t like the baby item. And babies are so very different from what bottle nipple works to whether they like vibrating/bouncing to whatever.

    FYI: The five things I’ve found most useful with our baby: Frida Snotsucker (gross sounding but soooo helpful when baby has a cold); a swing (electric, and one that swings from above. the small rocking ones didn’t have enough movement for our fussbudget); an exersaucer (thing he can play in once he’s 4 mo. or so); and a sound machine (we use Amazon Alexa which can also do a ton of other stuff and is very worth the money)

    What I don’t like: marshmallows. They are weirdly textured. ๐Ÿ™‚

  20. Wow, I’m so sorry that you have to deal with such aggressive comments ๐Ÿ™ What kind of life does someone live that they’d want to say such hateful things, especially about saying you don’t like sneakers??? So strange!

    I had written a post about trying to eat a more vegetarian diet and made a joke (albeit not a very funny one) about how shrimp were basically like mushrooms (because I love shrimp and was just trying to justify still eating them) and I received a VERY LONG comment from a vegan telling me how wrong I was. Like I know shrimp are not mushrooms and I’m sorry you didn’t get my joke ๐Ÿ™

    I also do not like Birkenstocks (my dad wears those, and they are not cute), most chocolate, most pizza, a good amount of cheese, bell sleeves, going to the beach in the summer, swimming, and hot Cheetos. I’m like the worst Californian, ha.

  21. Hi my name is Jennarose,
    I am not a fan of bitkenstocks, coffee flavored food items or scented items, shorts that show of girls butts, chocolate, huge parties and people who wear pajamas/active wear as regular clothing. I love roses and all things rose scented, the color green (to the point where I have to make sure i actually like the item and not just the color) and my dogs and cats.

  22. HALLELUJAH! I have a terrible tendency to hate everything that everyone else LOVES. Not in that pretentious ‘Oh it’s all just too mainstream’ way, I just frequently don’t get it, and feel like the uncool kid at school. I have never watched Game of Thrones and can’t seem to make myself want to. I thought everyone on Love Island was hideously annoying so I only watched one episode (and yet still can still hold quite an in depth conversation about it, bizarrely!) I can’t think of anything worse than going to Glastonbury and have to avoid Facebook like the plague while it’s on, because everyone is busy posting #mylifeismoreexcitingthanyours type posts! And can’t stand having to explain over and over again to people that no, I’m not jealous, because just the thought of being around that many people at once brings me out in hives! See also – Ibiza. Oh, and I HATE that 90s fashion is back in – seriously, why would I want to dress like I did when I was 12??? MAN THAT FELT GOOD!!

  23. Just to add, what kind of a fool gets offended because you don’t like sneakers? Aren’t there enough of us who do? Why was it so important to that person that you liked them?

    If they were the only person who manufactured sneakers in planet earth then she may well be inclined to take it as a personal affront, but really!

    A couple of years ago at the height of a hot summer a meme came round Facebook saying whoever complained about the heat was in line for a punch. Does it really matter that I choose to spend a hot day outdoors sitting under a tree?

  24. Hi Amber,

    I read your blog because

    – you are an amazing writer who can turn an everyday act of stupidity into a story rivaling the story arch of some TV shows
    – your life is totally different from mine and I am a really nosy pwrson
    -hearing YOUR personal take on things always gives me something to think about and makes me aware of things which weren’t on my radar before

    And to follow your request, here is a list of personal dislikes:

    I don’t like Game of Thrones, how MY toenails look with polish on them, ripped jeans, nose piercings, cats.

    Weirdly people in the real world don’t seem to get in tribes battling each other to death over these topics…

    Please don’t let the haters stop you from publishing opinion posts. They are what makes your blog special.

    Thank you for all the posts that made me, think, smile and cry.

    A very loyal reader

  25. I think I’m turning into a grumpy old woman since I turned 40. I get so annoyed about people, much more than I used to. When i say annoyed about people I mean the way unkindness, intolerance and rudeness seems to becoming acceptable. Um….HELLO!!! We are all diverse human beings with different opinions, experiences and tastes. We should be celebrating that not trying to turn everybody into a unicorn horned pink and fluffy clone. Getting offended because not everybody has the same tastes/opinions is childish and ill mannered. God, you can tell I’ve had a bad day, my not so inner diva has been released, lol.

    As it’s you and because you asked; I don’t like mushrooms, cold shoulder tops and the homeless look from the 90s which is making an unwelcome return. I do like sparkle, red lipstick and shoes. Oh and matching underwear!

  26. I don’t like coffee, cold shoulder or asymmetrical clothes (if they’re even still a thing?!), live TV in general (if it can’t be paused, I’m not interested), running or conversations about weight loss. I hate any baby crap which is too big to be stored in a cupboard (plus, those Jumparoo things can’t be good for their hips, can they?!) and I feel angry about how much money parents waste on supposedly miracle cures for sleepless nights.

    I guess I’m lucky in that most of the people I interact with online have similar opinions to me AND my blog’s still very small so I rarely get much backlash, but I was still scared to blog about formula feeding JUST IN CASE and there are various other parenting topics that people get really offended about as though, if you don’t do think exactly the same way as them, you’re accusing them of being terrible parents. *sigh*

  27. There are so many things I dislike it would take 20 paragraphs to write them all, lol. Anyway, I think people should just accept that other people don’t like the same thing they do. If I say I don’t like biker boots, it’s insane that people would insult me over that. That’s crazy.

  28. I’m Erin – I don’t like fall fall – it literally means things are falling and dying and it smells sweet (like DEATH). I don’t like makeup reviewers who never review ANYTHING negatively. Really? Like really, it’s all great is it? If it’s all great then I’m going to completely ignore you because you aren’t helpful as you think everything is awesome. I don’t like crystals and woo-woo shit. I don’t like Hunter boots. I don’t like the color purple even though I look really good in most shades of it. I don’t like pink. I hate names like Cadyn, and Kamdyn, and Jaden, and Jaxon, and newfangled misspelled bullshit names. I don’t like cottage cheese. I absolutely cannot stand those nose rings that make people look like they have a bullring hanging from their face. I LOATHE the Kardashians/Jenners.

    • These are my feelings exactly about fall – for me it’s such a depressing time, when everything is dying, and it’s dark all the time – absolutely hate it ๐Ÿ™

  29. People take personal preference so seriously. Just because I don’t like something it doesn’t mean I’m judging people who do like it or think their opinion is wrong. If you express your opinion rudely, sure, but if you just say that you personally don’t care for a certain thing, who cares? I find that I really like saltier YouTubers for that reason – it’s refreshing to hear someone say they don’t like something without apologizing for it. Not every person will like everything! We will all survive!

  30. My name is Sarah, and I’m a new blogger who isn’t afraid to write on controversial topics (although maybe I’m thinking I should tone it down) and who enjoys a good debate. I love meditating and find yoga horribly uncomfortable. I dislike bacon, cats, passive aggressive people, and summer. I am a true introvert – I find myself gaining energy in alone time, and yet I crave social settings. Great post as always Amber!!

  31. I don’t like midi length skirts or dresses because they make my stumpy legs look even shorter. I don’t like the taste of black pepper. Rust, mustard, and olive are ugly colors. The Godfather, The Silence of the Lambs, and The Shining are all infinitely better in book form. The Big Bang Theory isn’t the least bit funny. Whew! I feel better after getting all that off my chest.

  32. Have you checked out http://www.theuphill.com blog? I love her honesty about life with kids, it’s very refreshing to find someone who doesn’t post pictures of perfect houses and well balanced meals blah blah blah. If I ever have kids I will definitely be checking out her recommendations, because you feel she actually means it when she recommends something, and doesn’t hesitate to say if she doesn’t like something. That’s pretty rare these days!

  33. My tablet keeps freezing on me as I attempt to write a lengthier reply, so I’ll just say “Thanks!” for a much needed post. I like tights, have never tried Birkenstocks, prefer cooler climates to warmer ones, dislike seafood though I live at the shore, and I ADORE your blog and look because my current lifestyle doesn’t allow me to dress that way.

  34. I hate smoking especially when people smoke over their kids, whilst pushing prams etc. It’s their choice I know but I really dislike it and I will move my children away from people that are smoking if we are out and about.

    Also get really annoyed (irrationally so?!) when people arrive at the office and proceed to eat ALL. DAY. LONG. I mean, come on, who needs to much and graze for 8 hours straight, ha ha! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Oh God, me too: we’ve been visiting Terry’s mum in hospital every day recently – smoking isn’t allowed in the hospital grounds (although people often do it anyway), which means the path immediately outside it is always thronged with people smoking, and it really gives me the rage that I’m forced to walk through a cloud of smoke to get into the freaking hospital!

  35. Pale lipstick/corpse lips makeup. I find it vile. Also don’t get the hype of GOT, hate hate hate bananas, they are evil (everyone thinks I’m crazy) and there are a whole host of things I’m not fond of including crocs, ugg boots and athleisure wear. Get out of those glorified pyjamas and out on some real clothes you slobby sloth. Also ripped jeans piss me off. You pay how much for a pair of jeans you can destroy for free? Dreadlocks, I know it’s a cultural thing and I don’t want to get lynched for it but they are not my cup of tea. That and hippy smelling things like patchouli. Pretty much all of the hippy things really. I’ll stop there…

  36. This is completely beside the point of your article, but I have noticed since you changed your comment design, I can’t read all the comments? Not sure if it is just my computer! It seems to only go to a certain amount (chops one comment in half, in fact) then brings up the comment box.

  37. Good All-Purpose Baby/Toddler Christmas List: big cardboard box, the wrapping paper and ribbons that were on it, and a loving parent’s attention.

    My parents were poor, but my mom tells me my favorite baby toy was a sock with a bell in it, tied shut. The most memorable Christmas present was a refrigerator box (Dad worked for Whirlpool) with a cut-out window to become a puppet theater.

    As the years rolled on….my own daughter’s 5th birthday party coincided with the blinged-out party of another neighbor kid (they had a pony, a bouncy-house, and a pinata that not even the parents could break). All the kids (even the neighbor boy who it turns out was afraid of the pony) ended up on our front yard playing in a big long open cardboard box that was by turns a toboggan and a castle.

  38. Well said. I might add, that sometimes you don’t hear negative reviews on blogs or vlogs because the blogger/vlogger just presents the products he/she actually likes and doesn’t want to “feature” or advertise bad products. But I totally get why it’s also good to share “bad” products and not just the good ones. I’m partially guilty of being “angry” when someone doesn’t like something that I love – BUT here’s the catch: I just get angry when they make fun of my loved products or talk bad about them and my silly opinion. That being said: I really don’t get the avocado hype. Without it being mashed into guacamole it just tastes like gardening soil and even in form of guacamole I need tortilla chips to cover the avocado taste! Oh and I hate tomatoes… in ketchup, soup, sauces and pizza it’s fine but tomatoes on their own are disgusting ๐Ÿ˜€ And do not get me started on those crop tops in fashion…. is it so hard to design clothes that go over my hips and partially cover my bum? Seriously, I do not want to present my belly to everyone, I’m not 14 anymore but still not old enough to wear grandmas clothes…

  39. Summed up perfectly!
    I’ve recently started binge watching some youtuber’s vlogs and during this awesome (albeit lazy) journey I’ve heard “this is just my story” numerous times! I appreciate the understanding that “it” (whatever the magical product is) might not work for someone else. I don’t mind the five-second disclaimer blip as long as it is followed by a real review– I too feel a mild panic attack at the thought of social conflict online or not. However, the value of someone telling me what didn’t work and why so I can determine if such a negative aspect would be applicable to me shouldn’t be lost because someone jerk on the internet is going to give my blogger (or vlogger) a hard time.

    I am on that birkenstock hating bandwagon. I live around the corner from a store and I can see people line up around the building on sale day. It’s quite tragic. I don’t like grown, professional men who decide that their jeans and a suit jacket are acceptable dress for a stage (I’m looking at you, Ted Talk presenters and all residents of Silicon Valley).

    Thanks for the article and the permission to air your grievances in a “safe space.” We need more of this in the blog world.

  40. I loved your post. It is true that people have had to learn to carefully censor themselves or risk being rabidly attacked for daring to disparage the taste or texture of an okra or the look of the latest long bob.

    For myself, I hate birkenstocks as well, particularly with white socks, why, just why? Sports on tv. Reality tv shows. Midriff baring shirts worn places that they are not appropriate for, like the office or school. Really loud music in restaurants so you can’t hear your companions. People who speak/yell loudly in public. People saying “my bad” instead of apologizing.

  41. Cold shoulder tops. They don’t look good on almost everyone. I saw one woman a few weeks ago who was built like a fitness model and had very small slits, and I stared so hard at her she got freaked out. But she’s the only person I’ve ever seen remotely carry that look off! Sometimes I want to walk up to people and say “clothing companies are selling you this crap on purpose because they know you’ll only wear it this year and you’ll have to buy more next year. Wear classic clothes! Think of the planet, garment workers, and how dumb you’ll look in pictures five years from now!”. But of course I don’t.

  42. My blog hasn’t gone live yet, so I have not had to deal with this in that particular way, but I am so annoyed by this in real life. My friend group that we spend the most time with has been shaped mostly around my boyfriend’s friends. I love them all, but the unfortunate part is that the other girls are just so sensitive and careful about things like this. It is so frustrating for all of us to be walking around on eggshells just to try not to upset them. They are constantly anxious about what they say and do and that one of us might take it the wrong way, and they are quick to analyze every comment the rest of us make. The best part about having close friends is supposed to be not having to worry about that! As long as you are not going out of your way to upset or disrespect people, we should all feel comfortable speaking freely – especially around those we love.

  43. YES! YES! YES! Thank you for this post. I love when you write about those kind of topics. It’s so true and I’m glad I’m not the only one seeing it.

  44. I don’t get the fuss over highlighter, it’s ok but why do we all need dozens of them now? I have yet to find an Urban Decay Naked Palette I like, they are either too glittery or warm looking for me. I am allergic to cats (has been mentioned before but I feel excluded from the blogger club on this one a lot!). I like Birkenstocks but mainly because they are comfy for my problematic feet, I fully admit they are hideous! ๐Ÿ˜‰ I could care less about Strictly or Love Island. I often feel too opinionated for blogging, if I don’t like a product I try to say exactly why and outline my own experience/skin type, etc. But if it makes promises it doesn’t deliver on I am not afraid to say so. I rarely get sent products anymore though, also I have gotten pickier about what I will review so it’s less of an issue for me than bigger bloggers. Real opinions matter, I get bored reading blandly positive reviews personally, but maybe that is just me. ;-0

  45. When you apologize or sound tentative about things, abusive bullying types (the oh-so-forever-offended-over-everything assholes) home in on that and come after you. They sense weakness. They smell blood in the water. They get off on controlling you and making you feel small. There is a two step process to avoid this forever for the rest of your life.

    1. Post whatever the hell you want however the hell you want. Don’t apologize for anything. Don’t hedge your words. Just say it flat out. Bold and blunt. (This alone will minimize your problem here by a lot. Because weirdly the more you try not to offend people the more you attract the kind of people to you who are perpetually offended about everything. If you don’t give a good goddamn if you offend people or not, most of the more precious snowflakes will stay away to begin with and you’ll attract tougher people whose world won’t end if you disagree about something or don’t like something and say it.)

    2. State up front that you have a zero tolerance policy for abusive assholes and will delete abusive comments. Then proceed to delete (without even bothering to reply) to these trolls. You really need a blog/website set up where you can ban at the IP level anybody who leaves an abusive comment. And I would put my comments on moderate so they don’t even appear.

    Rule your site with an iron fist. Take no shit from anyone. And say whatever the hell you want. People only pull this bullshit because they are on a power trip and believe they can get away with it.


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